My tribute to Eugene, my brother

Tribute to Eugene Tiller, given at his memorial service, September 29th, 2006

Hi – I’m Karen Sculley, Eugene’s sister.  It’s hard to know what to say, but I wanted to share a few things about my brother as an encouragement to you.  Eugene was blessed with many gifts.  He had a memory like a steel trap.  He taught me how to read.  He taught me a bunch of other stuff, too, like how to make mud pies and collect stamps and climb on water towers.  We were only one grade apart in school, so wound up liking a lot of the same rock groups and fads and hobbies.  He seemed to always collect an assortment of friends from all over the globe.

As kids, we played in the creek with our cousins and the Abeling’s; explored the freighter ship we traveled on when we migrated to Australia as 9 and 7 year olds; played in school and city orchestras together; spent endless hours hanging out with Bronwyn and Miranda in Toowoomba; had backyard handball tournaments & pogo contests; in high school in the late 70s, annoyed one another with crushes on people in each other’s circles of friends.

Eugene returned to the States in 1979 for college, and after graduating, came back to Australia for 2 years.  This happened to coincide with when Paul & I got married in late 1985, and we were thrilled to be able to include all four of our siblings in our wedding party.

When Paul & I moved to the U.S. in 1989, we spent a memorable couple of weeks with Eugene in Erie, Pennsylvania, where he introduced us to his favorite food groups–bagels, Cheerios, and Ben & Jerry’s.  We remained in close contact, and during that time period shared deeply about all kinds of things, including spiritual matters.  In mid-1991, our mom passed away, and as painful as that was, Eugene entered into a new joyful period of his life because of Christine, who was clearly the love of his life and the girl he’d been waiting for!  They got married, and meanwhile, Paul & I were busy doing the baby thing, producing 6 nephews and nieces for them.  For various reasons, Eugene & I didn’t stay in as close contact as we had previously.  There was no falling out between us, no offense or anything, but our relationship just had more of a distance to it.

Fast forward to 2006.  Over the years, Eugene & I had a very cordial relationship, talked a couple of times a year, visited every year or two, and stayed mostly on the surface, although both of us expressed a desire to be closer to one another.  So I was pretty surprised to receive a phone call from him one Saturday morning in early May.   He started by sharing that he’d been struggling with some things for quite some time and would I please pray for him.  This isn’t an unusual request for me since I serve as prayer ministry director at our church, but the last time Eugene had asked me to pray for him or spoken about deeper spiritual matters was 16 years earlier.  He wasn’t just asking for prayer; he was in a place of desperation and knew God was the One he needed to turn to.  We talked and prayed, then Eugene went on to apologize for putting a distance between us for all those years.  He said he’d begun to read the Bible again, and wanted to find a church family.  I knew all through that phone call that God was at work in his life in a big way.  As a huge bonus, our relationship began to be closer again, too.

Then as you all know, Eugene’s brain tumor surfaced in late June.  I flew up to see him as soon as possible, and the day I arrived, one of his hospital visitors asked him if he had talked to a hospital chaplain yet, and he replied, “that’s what Karen’s here for.”  We talked about life & death, God, the Bible, and of course sports, news, and politics.  During that visit, he shared with me that he knew without a shadow of a doubt that when he died, he would spend eternity with God because of what Jesus had done for him on the cross.  He had no fear of death.  God did a great work in Eugene this year and gave him a precious gift – none of us knows how many days we have on the earth, and it amazes me how Eugene had the opportunity to connect with so many family & friends, old and new, the way he did in the last few months.  Eugene knew that, and gratefully received every day as a blessing from God and every phone call or visit as a special treat.

One of the sweetest memories I have of him was spending the night in ICU by his bedside while he was recovering from the biopsy – he was a very childlike person and just so thankful for every little thing, so every time he would come to, he’d just look over at me the way a little boy does, and smile, and occasionally ask, “How’s it going?”  He loved it when I read from “The Message” Bible (usually the book of Psalms or Romans) or prayed with him.  All the nurses and hospital staff just loved him because he was so kind and thankful, which was probably why they let me stay back in there, probably against their normal guidelines.

Cascade, our 9 year old, and I were able to return for another trip – she and Eugene got to know each other better.  She loved him immensely and vice versa.  Cascade & I were out on a date when Ellissa called to tell us that Eugene had passed, and we sat together on the floor of the purse aisle at Target and wept.

My brother Eugene will always remain in my memory as a very loving person who adored Christine and his precious Ava & Miles, and always had a kind or encouraging word to say to every person he encountered.  Although I’m sure he had his moments, he kept a cheerful and optimistic outlook throughout hard times and didn’t succumb to negativity or hopelessness even in the most adverse circumstances.  The way Eugene responded to suffering has been a huge encouragement to the hundreds of people I’ve shared with personally about Eugene’s struggles.  He knew that God was His healer, and although many of us had hoped and prayed that God would heal Eugene physically on earth, today Eugene is completely healed in heaven, body, soul, and spirit.  Even when we don’t understand God’s purposes, the bottom line is that God is good.  I know I will see Eugene again one day, and he is now reunited with our mother in the presence of our loving God.

I want to leave you with a Scripture that God highlighted to me Saturday a week ago while at a prayer retreat in the mountains – “I will not die but live and will proclaim what the Lord has done.”  At first, I wondered if God wanted me to pray that for Eugene, but no, He told me that verse was for me.  I want to encourage you with that also – God doesn’t want us to die inside, give up on life, stay downhearted or despondent, but to live and live life to the fullest and tell the world what He has done for us.  We grieve, but we can grieve with hope, when our hope is in Jesus Christ.  I’m sure Eugene would want that for each of you, too.

Thanks for coming today to celebrate Eugene’s life!