A friend who sticks closer than a brother

May 30, 2010

Today is the last session in our current “names of God” series . . . I feel confident that we will continue studying the names of God again at some point in the future, but this current season is at a close. Several months ago, God put it on my heart to share about Jesus as the friend who sticks closer than a brother. I had invited quite a few in the church to teach one of the names of God, and initially it looked like every slot was filled. But due to various circumstances, this very last session opened up, and I am thrilled to share with you today about one of my favorite aspects of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. When I first came to Christ, it was this very thing, the friendship of Jesus, which drew me to Him. I couldn’t understand God as Father at all, or the mystery of the Holy Spirit, but I could understand that Jesus was the very best friend I could ever have.

Proverbs 18:24 –

NIV – “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

What is a friend?

You might think this is too simple a question to even consider. But knowing what a friend is can be confusing because probably all of us have had some negative experiences with people we had thought were friends, perhaps we’ve been deeply hurt or even betrayed by someone we thought was a friend. I thought I knew what a friend was in my relationship with my closest girlfriend in high school and college. R and I met when we were 11 years old, on the first day of high school. We did everything together during our 5 years of high school, and chose to stay in the same dorm at college. A year after graduation and just a few weeks before Paul and I got married, R in essence dropped our friendship. She called me at work to say she didn’t want to be my bridesmaid after all. I was devastated. Although she slipped into the back row during our wedding ceremony, she didn’t want to talk about anything. A few years later, Paul and I moved to the U.S., and R and I had little contact over the years. Things changed when tragedy struck. This was back in the days before most people had email, and international phone calls were still quite a luxury at $2 or $3 a minute to Australia. I was surprised to receive a phone call from R one day. In unbearable sorrow, she told me that her younger brother had been killed in a hit-and-run accident. She called me to ask me to pray for her. Through painful circumstances, God restored our friendship and we were sweetly reunited the last time I visited Australia. I mention this as an example of how God can redeem anything, even a broken friendship. But I also want to contrast what often happens in human friendships with friendship with Jesus. Jesus is a faithful friend who sticks with us. He will never abandon us or betray us in any way.

Some selected definitions:

a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard
a person who gives assistance
a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts
a person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause
ally
bosom buddy
cohort
companion
confidant
pal
partner

Bear with me as we explore what a friend is. As I read these descriptors, think of Jesus, our friend. Friendship is the cooperative and supportive relationship between people. The term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection, and respect, along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other’s company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. They will share enjoyable activities. They will engage in mutually helping behavior, such as the exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. For some, the practical outworking of friendship is the trust that someone will not harm them.

Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:

the tendency to desire what is best for the other
sympathy and empathy
honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one’s counterpart
mutual understanding

Here are some of my favorite “friend” Scriptures . . .

Proverbs 17:17 in The Message says, “Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.”

John 15:13 in The Message says, “This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends.”

Proverbs 27:6 says, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted”

I thank God for the many friends He’s given me, including some very special ones who love me through all kinds of weather, put their lives on the line for me, and wound me at times in order to help me. Jesus is that kind of friend.

What is a brother?

broth⋅er

A male offspring having both parents in common with another offspring
Fellow man
Fellow countryman
Kin
Near relation
One beloved or closely united with another in affection
One of the same faith
One who shares a common ancestry, allegiance, character, or purpose with another or others

Yes, there are brothers and then there are brothers. God blessed me with a really nice brother. Two years my senior, he only punched the wind out of me twice in childhood, even though I provoked him much more often. He only got mildly annoyed when I had crushes on some of his friends. He acted sort of normal and didn’t embarrass me too much. We were only one year apart at school so had quite a lot of shared experiences and friends. I thank God that He gave me a good example of a brother, whose life, although imperfect, helped me to understand this Scripture, especially during his final illness and after his death. God has also blessed me with a couple of very special male friends who have been as close as biological brothers to me, in every sense of the word. Here are some things I learned from having an earthly brother that help me to know Jesus as the friend who sticks closer than a brother.

A brother is someone who listened to the same music, watched the same shows, read the same books, and knew the same people. We had a lot of culture in common.

A brother is someone who has the same wacky sense of humor and not only gets but laughs at your jokes.

A brother is someone to whom you can say just one word and it carries you both back to a specific place or time, e.g. “Lofty” (the mountain we lived on, the nickname of our high school, the location of the water tower where we hung out)

A brother is someone who will give you the shirt off of his back, e.g. when I had a severe case of poison ivy, he lent me his skin-hugging running clothes.

A brother is someone whose annoying habits became more endearing as time went on, especially as I discovered that I had more tolerance for them than some other relatives did.

A brother is someone who can introduce new foods to you that you previously wouldn’t have touched, e.g. when Paul & I moved to the States, it was my brother who introduced us to bagels & Cheerios.

A brother is someone who is interested in every detail of your life just as you are in his.

A brother is someone who gets excited about news from your small home town even though 99% of your acquaintances have never heard of it.

A brother is someone whom your sons begin to resemble somewhere in their early teens, causing you to have frequent flashbacks to your own childhood. This happened to me when my sons Peter & Jonathan were young teens, around the same time that doctors discovered my brother’s brain tumor.

A brother is someone who thinks of you as a brother or sister, and hopefully a friend, too.

What does it mean to “stick close”?

Adhere (one kind of material clings tenaciously to another)
Cohere (a thing is attracted to and held by something like itself)
Bond
Connect
Hold fast
Maintain one’s attachment or loyalty to
Persist
Remain faithful to

Who is Jesus, if He is a friend to us, a friend who sticks closer than a brother?

Special friends are priceless jewels. We need close-sticking and honest special friends to love and be loved by in all kinds of weather and trouble! Jesus is that kind of friend.

Referring back to my observations about what a friend is like, what a brother is like, and what it means to stick close, here’s how those lessons apply to my relationship with Jesus as the friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Jesus is a friend who is attached to me by feelings of affection. Paul says in Philippians 1:8 (NIV) – “God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.”

Jesus gives me assistance – Hebrews 2:18 (NIV) – “Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.”

Jesus knows me – John 2:24 (NIV) – “he knew all men”

Jesus loves me – Romans 8:38 – 39 (NIV) – “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Jesus and I are allied together in a common cause – Hebrews 2:11 (NIV) – “Both the one who makes men holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers.”

Jesus and I have a lot of culture in common . . . because we’re from the same ancestry, as children of the Father. Romans 8:29 (NIV) – “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.”

Jesus not only reads the same Book; He is the same Book! John 1:1 (NIV) – “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”

Relationship with Jesus involves joy. Jesus was full of joy while He walked the earth, and was motivated by the joy that was set before Him. Philippians 3:3 (ISV) – “For it is we who . . . find our joy in the Messiah Jesus.”

Jesus communicates a lot with just one word. Just one word from Jesus speaks volumes, brings healing, sets me free! Luke 7:7 (NASB) – “. . . just say the word, and my servant will be healed”

Jesus gives me the shirt off His back. Not only that, He gives me His back; He exchanges His life for mine. Mark 15:15 (NASB) – “Wishing to satisfy the crowd, Pilate released Barabbas for them, and after having Jesus scourged, he handed Him over to be crucified.”

Jesus becomes more endearing with time, despite annoyances. Jesus offended me a lot when I first met Him, because He asked me to give Him everything. Strangely enough, as each year goes by, I love Him more, even though He keeps on asking me to give Him everything. 1 Thessalonians 3:12 (NIV) – “May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else”

Jesus is always introducing me to new experiences . . . taking me out of my comfort zone. He’s done things in my life and circumstances and relationships that have gone beyond my wildest dreams. Ephesians 3:20 (NLT) – “Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.”

Jesus cares about the details of my life. I want to know more and more of Him. 1 Peter 5:7 (NLT) – “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”

Jesus is interested in news from home. Jesus gets really excited about every piece of news concerning our true home, where He’s preparing a place for you and me. He’s the one who told us in Luke 15:10 (NIV) that “there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

Jesus is causing me to resemble Him more and more. 2 Corinthians 3:18 (NIV) – “We, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”

Jesus considers me to be a friend, too. John 15:15 (NIV) – “No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.”

Jesus is the friend who is even closer than the closest brother imaginable. He’s the friend of all, even tax collectors and sinners, the modern equivalent of lawyers and child molesters. He’s our friend. He’s our brother. He’s close. He’s our friend who sticks closer than a brother.

In our troubles we expect comfort and relief from our brothers and sisters and other relatives, but sometimes there is a friend whose attachment of respect and love are more cherished and prove stronger than those of nature. When it comes to times of trouble, this friend will do more for us than even a brother will. Jesus Christ is a friend to all believers – He sticks closer than a brother to each one of us.

In closing, I want to share with you one very practical thing that has brought me immense comfort in times of difficulty in recent years. In a staff & board prayer time shortly before we went to Russia, God showed me a very clear picture. I was reclining at a table beside Jesus, as the disciples did at the Last Supper. My heart was full of sorrow at that particular moment, because as much as I knew God was sending us to Russia for that season, it was so hard leaving our loved ones here. I was sitting there on the floor meditating on this picture, with a heavy heart and eyes full of tears. Every step of obedience to God involves surrender. Surrender means change. Change is painful. This is why we are so in need of God’s comfort! It’s part of the normal Christian life. At the very minute when I saw this vision, fellow staff members Jane and Luane simultaneously came over and spoke of the same thing to me – to lean my head on Jesus. The verse I’m referring to is John 13:23 –

Weymouth New Testament – “There was at table one of His disciples–the one Jesus loved– reclining with his head on Jesus’s bosom.”

It was a beautiful triple confirmation of God’s word to me for that season. When God speaks something so clearly, it becomes an important part of your life. I leaned my head on Jesus, laid all my cares on Him, all my sorrows and concerns, my future and my past. I found Him to be the most beautiful, affectionate companion, bosom buddy, and caring confidant. I have leaned into Jesus many, many times since. This one brief vision brought me tremendous comfort through the harsh Russian winter, the loss of close relationships, the ripping of heart I felt when separating from loved ones, my inability to cope in times of crisis. I found Him to be a faithful friend, my ever-present help and comfort in times of trouble. The true measure of our intimacy with God is shown by how much we keep our peace in the midst of disturbing circumstances. Jesus is the friend who keeps us in His perfect peace, when we trust Him and fix our thoughts on Him.

May we each know Jesus more, and lean close into His heart, for Jesus is our forever friend who sticks closer than a brother! I want to play for you one of my favorite songs, that talks not only about Jesus being the friend who is closer than a brother, but also how wonderful the name of Jesus is!

“How Wonderful” (Leeland)

Lifting hands in song and dance
Humbled by the glory of the cross
We’ve been redeemed and reconciled
Caught up in the splendor of it all
Eternal life You gave
So we will bring song of praise

How wonderful
How lovely is Your name
You captivate our hearts
You save us by Your grace

God of mercy, God of love
How we marvel at Your majesty
As we kneel before Your holy throne
In the beauty of Your mystery
We are children of the King
Father, of Your love we sing

And You are
Closer than a brother, Jesus
Closer than a brother, Jesus
Oh, the name of Jesus
Oh, the name of Jesus
Oh, the name of Jesus