Delegate that which is tiny
Exodus 18:17b-18 (The Message) – “This is no way to go about it. You’ll burn out, and the people right along with you. This is way too much for you—you can’t do this alone.”
Last month we started talking about delegating, which has to do with entrusting, appointing, or assigning something to someone else so that we don’t wear ourselves out along the way! Today we’re going to look at the importance of delegating those tasks that seem tiny. I included in the verse above some of the wise advice that Moses’s father-in-law gave him when he saw how he was trying to do too much. No matter what your family situation looks like, home schooling can sometimes feel like we’re taking on the leadership of a nation!
If you are easily distracted (as I am), you know that in order to get something accomplished that requires more than a few moments of concentration, you might need to strategize. I want to say here that I am a big fan of laying aside lots of our personal dreams and plans during our years (or decades) of raising our children, especially when we choose to home school. We cannot do it all! I’m also a big fan of giving our full attention to the most important tasks, like raising children. But how these play out day to day looks very different in each of our homes. I encourage you to go to God for wisdom and direction each day and trust Him to guide you – He is faithful! James 1:5 (NLT) – “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” We are all wired differently and carry different loads – do whatever the Lord gives you to do – we are answerable to Him. Just do whatever you do with wisdom and balance. See what I mean by being distracted? Where was I? Oh, yes . . . Sometimes getting a larger task accomplished means bringing in extra help, but a lot of times we may just need to delegate some of the tiny tasks that make it harder to maintain focus or move forward. It’s amazing how much difference it makes to give yourself a little time and space in which to think and act.
As to what defines a tiny task, it is simply any task that takes only a few minutes to complete. Beyond that definition, it’s up to you which tiny tasks you might want to delegate. Think about repetitive tasks in your life that are never important or urgent. Think about tasks that do not require special expertise to complete. Think about tasks that for you are fairly mundane and are not special sources of joy for you.
For me, tiny tasks that could be delegated would include: folding one’s own laundry; gathering towels to be washed; feeding the cats; putting out the trash and recycling; sweeping the kitchen; shaking out the front mat. Each of these takes just a few minutes to do well; each can be easily delegated.
Tiny tasks that I would not currently consider delegating, even though these each take only a few minutes to complete, would include: calendarizing family birthday celebrations (because these are super important to me and I really enjoy planning each celebration); following a short but complicated recipe (because that’s how I roll but not how the other cooks currently in the house do); or watering the kitchen plants (because that brings me so much joy).
I want to speak here to the largely-archaic-in-theory but strangely-persistent-in-practice idea that women should do most or all of the housework. I’m not going to pretend that this isn’t still the reality for many women all over the world. You’re welcome to disagree with me if you like, but I struggle to see a sound basis or reason for this tradition. The individuals in a home each benefit when there is a division of labor. It is simply unhealthy in numerous ways to not share the load. What that division of labor looks like is up to the adults in each home. It might look like one person does most of the housework for a season. But that is not a sustainable or healthy option over time.
Paul and I have found it to be very helpful to have a simple system for tiny tasks, so that the delegating of them doesn’t end up being counter-productive! There is no one-size-fits-all system for every home, but I offer what we did in case anyone finds it helpful. We had a chore chart for our children when they were aged 3 to 12. For each child, on each weekday, they were required to complete the same number of chores as their age in years. For example, a 3-year-old would do 3 chores per day, 5 days a week, which is 15 chores a week. A 12-year old would do 12 chores per day, 5 days a week, which is 60 chores a week. We had six children in that age range for a number of years, so I had to devise up to 230 chores per week. Obviously, many were repetitive, like “make your bed”, “brush your teeth”, “clean your desk”, etc. But still, it took some planning on my part to come up with lots and lots of tiny tasks to delegate! (Side note: this is how our children earned their allowances – we paid 3 cents per chore for a 3-year-old, 12 cents per chore for a 12-year-old, etc.). We had a less structured system for teenagers, expecting them to continue to pull their weight at home but also encouraging them to find external employment.
Some people might prefer to assign tasks to their children according to their giftings or interest level. My husband and I wanted each of our kids to learn as many skills as possible while under our care and instruction, regardless of age, ability, or gender, so we attempted to train each of them to do every kind of chore imaginable. We had varying degrees of success in this venture, of course, but we figure it was worth the effort and hope that some of it stuck! We tried to model excellence but our main goal was to instill faithfulness while teaching some practical skills. Tiny tasks are worth doing and worth doing well!
If you’re thinking that all or most of the tasks in your life are anything but tiny, then you might need to consider how you can break down the larger tasks into smaller ones. For example, “clean your room” may be a 4-hour proposition for a particularly disorganized individual! I recently spent 7 hours helping one of my adult children organize and clean a single room. A larger task may need to be broken up into 20 smaller tasks by zoning off various spaces or categorizing objects. If I tried to delegate a huge task and put it on a chore chart, I would be setting myself up for disappointment. It made sense to me to break these larger tasks up to give the best possible chance for success for whomever I was delegating to, in addition to getting a lot of tiny tasks done!
If we have trouble seeing how to break down larger tasks, it can be helpful to bring in a friend who can look at our situation with fresh eyes. (And we can do the same for someone else – we all have different and valuable perspectives.) When we’re overwhelmed, we don’t need to be down on ourselves, but we might need to bring in some reinforcements for encouragement and motivation! None of us can get through all of the challenges of life alone – that’s an illusion. We need one another! There’s no shame at all in asking for help, even in the process of delegating to others!
If you’re able to identify plenty of tiny tasks but are unsure how to begin delegating them, you may need to invest a little more time upfront in training. A little hands-on coaching can go a long way. This has been more crucial for me during seasons in which I felt the most overwhelmed. It may sound counter-intuitive, but investing a little time in order to be able to responsibly hand over some tasks to others will reap huge benefits in the long run (for all parties involved) if we stick with it and don’t give up!
You might struggle with delegating tiny tasks because when you’ve done so before, they were not done well. When that’s the case, consider working on clear communication, offering a little more training, building in regular feedback, adjusting your expectations to be more realistic, and focusing on the relationships more than the tasks. Those can be challenging situations, especially if it happens repeatedly or is a true character issue in one or more family members.
Delegating tiny tasks may cause conflicts, because of oppositional behavior or because you may have to follow through with consequences of someone not doing the task or not doing it well. In the end you will have to weigh the costs and the benefits of each of these factors. Establish long-term goals and ask yourself along the way if your decisions are moving you along towards those goals. Again, I encourage you to do emotional checkups on yourself regularly (even daily), and whenever you feel overwhelmed, take your concerns to God AND bring in reinforcements by asking others to come alongside you in prayer, encouragement, and practical ways.
It’s helpful to remember that any change, even a small one, can produce ripples or even waves in others (depending on personalities or maturity levels), so keep that in mind when you set out to delegate. There will inevitably be some pushback, but proceed with care and confidence, humility and hope, as you seek to love God and others well. Give people time to adjust. It’s always good to expect that transitions will take time when making any changes that affect others.
All this to say, a huge benefit of delegating tiny tasks is that you will be able to attempt some more substantial tasks yourself. Perhaps more importantly, it also develops responsibility, confidence, and maturity in those to whom you delegate. A home where the loads are shared appropriately makes for healthier emotions and relationships and develops a stronger sense of community.
“We cannot all do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” (Mother Teresa)
#homeschooling #homeschool #home #school
