No Christian has ever been called to ‘go it alone’ in his or her walk of faith

We are continuing in our series of “30 Life Principles” based on the teachings of Dr. Charles Stanley, well-known author, pastor, and preacher. The title of this teaching caught my eye as the Lord has taken me on a personal journey from feeling like I grew up quite isolated despite being surrounded by people, to realizing that God’s highest and best includes vital life-giving fellowship with other flesh and blood Christ-followers in our journey of faith.

First, some definitions.  To “go it alone” means to “undertake a project, trip, or responsibility without the aid or presence of others.”

Even the word “alone” has a wide variety of definitions:

• separate, apart, or isolated from others
• to the exclusion of all others or all else
• unique; unequaled; unexcelled
• solitarily; solely
• only; exclusively
• without aid or help

As you might expect, the word “alone” comes from two Middle English words, “all” and “one.”

Alone carries with it the ideas of single, solitary; unaccompanied, unattended, without companionship or association. Alone is colorless unless reinforced by all; it then suggests solitariness or desolation.

The opposite of “alone” is “accompanied.” God assures us in many places in Scripture that He doesn’t expect or desire for us to “go it alone”:

Genesis 2:18 (NIV) – “The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’”

John 8:29 (NIV) – “The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.”

John 14:15-18 (NIV) – “If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”

Hebrews 13:5 (NIV) – “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’”

From the Dominion of Drear . . .

Our key Scripture today is also from the book of Hebrews:

Hebrews 10:24-25 (NLT) – “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”

Dr. Stanley offers five main reasons why people become isolated and alone, often most easily noticed in their lack of or inconsistent fellowship with other believers.  One of my favorite memory aids is coming up with acronyms . . . I put it to you that when Christ-followers are out of fellowship with one another, trying to “go it alone”, they inevitably enter and live in the dominion of “drear.”  To live in the dominion of drear is to be dreary, sorrowful, comfortless, wearisome, monotonous.  It’s not that there’s a complete absence of joy outside of fellowship in Christ, because God is present everywhere so there are glimpses of joy everywhere.  But detached from the body of Christ, it is not possible to live in a place of consistent and overcoming joy!  It’s downright dreary in comparison to the abundant life of joy that God desires for each of us! So, back to Dr. Stanley’s list – here are the five main reasons he gives as to why people don’t attend church as active and vibrant participants in Christian community:

• D – Distance . . . They live too far away from a biblically-sound congregation to feel it would be feasible to be active members.  If distance is causing someone to be sporadic or rare in attendance, then we can encourage and actively help them to identify a Christ-centered church that is geographically more accessible to them.
• R – Rejection . . . They are frightened of being rejected so they isolate themselves from others, including Christians.  If fear of rejection is keeping someone away from relationship and growth, then we can offer to be a safe place for them by not pushing but walking alongside them and helping build a foundation of trust little by little.

• E – Experience . . . They’ve had a terrible experience with ‘religious’ people.  The book “unchristian” says that from 60 to 90% of non-church-goers characterize Christianity as: antihomosexual, judgmental, hypocritical, old-fashioned, too involved with politics, out of touch with reality, insensitive to others, boring, not accepting of other faiths, or confusing.  Whether we agree with these descriptors or not, receive them as criticisms or affirmations of our faith, the reality is that many, many people in our day and age, including many who would say they are followers of Jesus, resist connecting in the body of Christ because of negative experiences with the Church.
• A – Anxiety . . . They are shy and find it difficult to open up to others.  Intimacy can be a frightening thing for many people. In my research for one of our “Saturdays at the Sculleys: Movie nights for thinkers and seekers”, the Korean movie, “Castaway on the Moon,” I discovered some startling statistics. In the American population, about 7.4 million people are suspected of having “avoidant personality disorder,” and as many as 22 million people may have some kind of “social anxiety disorder.”  Causes include: genetic and family factors, social experiences (e.g. humiliation, bullying), cultural influences (e.g. saving face, perfectionism), substance abuse (e.g. alcohol, dependence on anti-anxiety medications), and psychological factors (e.g. anxiety, feeling threatened).  We can look out for those who are anxious about social situations which includes Christian fellowship. We can extend the peace of Christ to each one who is anxious, and reach out in welcome to those who are withdrawn.
• R – Responsibilities . . . They have so many responsibilities that they don’t think they have the energy to participate adequately. In our fast-paced world, one of the most loving things we can do is to, as our key Scripture says, “motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together.”  None of us has limitless energy; God created the Sabbath for our own good.  While we do not need to be religiously legalistic about it, setting aside time for fellowship with other believers actually energizes us for the other responsibilities in our lives.

. . . to the Kingdom of Clear

The good news is that we don’t have to live in the dominion of drear! God created us for fellowship with Himself and with other believers. His desire for us is to live in the kingdom of clear where relationships with Him and with one another can be living and growing. Springing from this very capacity for fellowship that God has given us are very valid needs that we all have.  When these needs are met, our lives, relationships, and hearts can be CLEAR! God has wired us with five basic needs, which He has also beautifully made provision for.  It is precisely through other believers that God provides each of these things.

C – Connection . . . We each need an outlet in which to practice, develop, and express the gifts that God has given us. Ephesians 4:11-13 (NIV) – “It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.” Listen to how this is rendered in “The Message” version – “He handed out gifts above and below, filled heaven with his gifts, filled earth with his gifts. He handed out gifts of apostle, prophet, evangelist, and pastor-teacher to train Christ’s followers in skilled servant work, working within Christ’s body, the church, until we’re all moving rhythmically and easily with each other, efficient and graceful in response to God’s Son, fully mature adults, fully developed within and without, fully alive like Christ.” Without this kind of connection, moving rhythmically, easily, efficiently, and gracefully together in response to Jesus, we will not become fully mature, fully developed, or even fully alive!

L – Love . . . This is the core of who God is and how He defines our relationships with Him and with one another! Jesus said in Mark 12:29-31 (NLT) – “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”

E – Encouragement . . . here’s an excerpt from “The Power of Encouragement,” a Freeman-Smith prayer devotional that we use in our school each week: Do you delight in the victories of others? You should. Each day provides countless opportunities to encourage others and to praise their good works. When you do so, you spread seeds of joy and happiness. American poet Ella Wheeler Wilcox advised, “Talk happiness. The world is sad enough without your woe.” Her words still apply. Life is a team sport, and all of us need occasional pats on the back from our teammates. So, let us be cheerful with smiles on our faces and encouraging words on our lips. By blessing others, we also bless ourselves, and, when we do, God smiles. Hebrews 3:12-14 (NIV) – “See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first.”

A – Accountability . . . This can be a loaded word because of past misuse.  But accountability is one of the gifts God has given us to help us to live the abundant life He’s designed for us, in community with one another. Ephesians 5:15 – 21 (NLT) – “So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

R – Relationship . . . Again, God has woven the fact that He created us for relationship – with Him and with one another – throughout Scripture. In a section that the editors label, “The True Family of Jesus,” He says in Matthew 12:50 (NLT) – “Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother!”

Our Responsibility to Other Believers

Let’s take a brief look at the context of our key verse. The Jewish community was extremely close knit. They shared ancestry, land, traditions, and a center of worship. However, when Jews began to believe in Jesus as their Messiah, they were disowned and persecuted by their loved ones and neighbors. Some were scattered throughout the world, while others remained in Jerusalem to weather the storm. All must have been intensely aware of the persecution that they were in danger of. Yet the writer of Hebrews admonished them to encourage one another and remain steadfast in their faith.

They needed to draw confidence from other believers, and so do you, especially during the most difficult times. Other Christians will help you grow in your faith, and they will give you the love and support that you need to face the challenges ahead.

• Love

1 John 3:13-19 (NLT) – “So don’t be surprised, dear brothers and sisters, if the world hates you. If we love our Christian brothers and sisters, it proves that we have passed from death to life. But a person who has no love is still dead. Anyone who hates another brother or sister is really a murderer at heart. And you know that murderers don’t have eternal life within them. We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person? Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God.”

Why should we not be surprised when the world opposes us? The answer lies in something else the apostle John wrote.

John 15:17-19 (NLT) – “This is my command: Love each other. If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you.”

How does our unconditional love for one another show that we belong to Christ and are saved?

1 John 4:7-11 (NLT) – “Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.”

What should we be willing to do for other believers?

• Lay Down Our Lives

John 15:13 (NIV) – “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”

I am amazed as I often am, at how the Holy Spirit timed this class in conjunction with our current sermon series from the book of James.  Ralph spoke from this passage last Sunday:

James 2:15-17 (NLT) – “Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, ‘Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”

John 13:34-35 (NLT) – “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35)

Let’s examine our own hearts: Do I find it easy or difficult to open up to other people? Do I consider myself a loner or am I naturally drawn to others? Regardless of our personal makeup, Scripture is clear that it is important to be part of the Church. This will be more challenging for some than for others, but being involved in a Bible-believing congregation is indispensable for all Christians. Bombarded by worldly pressure and ungodly influences, no one can stand by themselves for too long. Either we will be destroyed by the stress or we will drift away from the faith. Also, we will miss out on the abundant life that God planned for us because an important part of expressing that life is showing unconditional love to other believers and receiving it from them in return. That’s not possible if we refuse to participate. Meeting regularly with other believers helps to safeguard us against drifting. We have a responsibility to use our gifts to encourage other believers.

Practical Application

As a practical application of today’s teaching, I’d like for us to each consider 3 people we know whom we know have at some point made a decision to become Christ-followers, but are not for whatever reasons engaging with a church community.  Are there 3 people whom we could each invite to come back into regular, life-giving fellowship with other believers?  I have some postcards for us to use today that were created for just that purpose.  Let’s pass these around and allow God to use us today to help a couple of other people move from the dominion of drear to the kingdom of clear where we can have abundant, living relationships with God and with the body of Christ.