Together in the Family
August 28th, 2022 – Together in the Family
Good morning beautiful church family, whether present in this room or online! Today we are continuing our series called “Together” as we look at how to live flourishing lives interdependently with God and one another. I’m referencing Scriptures from the NRSV translation of the Bible, if you’d like to follow along.
Today we’re going to talk about “Together in the Family.” A good place to start might be by asking, “What is a family?” I would say in 2022, to borrow a phrase Pastor John has said a couple of times, “It’s complicated.” Before we dive further into today’s topic, let’s recap where we’re at so far in this series called “Together.”
John laid the foundation by talking about the Trinity, from whom the very idea and possibility of any kind of relationship springs. The God whom we worship, Three Persons in One God, a community, a unity of love – the Father, Christ Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit – this God always invites us into relationship and community because God created each and every one of us in His image.
Nancy talked a couple of weeks ago about being Together in the Church and encouraged us to continue loving one another through it all, making room for one another, and daily finding someone to encourage.
John talked last Sunday about being Together in Relationships. They can be messy. But we can approach even the most complicated, most difficult, most impossible relationships with great hope in Christ.
That brings us to today, and back to our original question, “What is a family?” I’m not sure there has ever been a time in human history where the definition of family hasn’t been complicated sometimes. We can flip through the Bible and find all kinds of families that maybe we’d prefer not to talk about, because they’re honestly pretty awful in so many ways. Polygamy, concubines, incest, kidnapping wives-to-be, child abuse, stealing inheritances, estrangements, murdering siblings, passing wives off as sisters, you name it, family can be messy! Jesus’ earthly family was complicated. Although the Holy Family was honorable in every possible way, they were also the most far-fetched kind of family anyone had ever heard of, with an unheard-of, never-to-be-repeated immaculate conception.
God created family to be a beautiful idea and a beautiful reality. God is inviting us to imagine and welcome the fullness of who He really is in every area of our lives. Family is beautiful, challenging, rich, overwhelming, arduous, joyful, frustrating, loving, mind-boggling, history changing, intimidating, amazing, seemingly impossible, and expansive. We tend to get stuck in our ways of thinking and speaking and acting, simply because we humans get stuck pretty often. Today let’s welcome the Holy Spirit to renew our imagination and kindle a fire in our hearts as to how God can show up in family. Let’s dream big today and let God move us forward from our stuck places into the wide-open spaces where freedom takes us. Love is expansive and grows to make room for more. Come, Holy Spirit!
I want to share a couple of pages with you from what I think is going to become one of my all-time favorite kids’ books. Subtitled “The Worst Alphabet Book Ever,” here are a few selections from “P is for Pterodactyl.” “G is for Gnat”, “K is for Knight”, “M is for Mnemonic”, “W is for Wren”. You get the picture. Imagine trying to teach someone to read English and offering them these choice words. Saying “P is for Pterodactyl” is only funny if we already know that there are thousands of instances when words beginning with “P” also begin with the “P” sound. Hang on to that thought – we’ll come back to this again several times today.
When we talk about the definition of “family,” it’s helpful to understand that there are varying definitions in various situations. On our annual tax return, we use the legal definition of family which is basically those who are financially dependent on us. When our kids were younger, we took a field trip to Zoo Atlanta with the 8 of us. I got excited when I saw that a family pass was listed for a very reasonable price, but then my heart fell when I realized that “family” in that context was defined very rigidly with a fixed number of adults and kids. When someone passes away, there are laws that define whether or how much of any inheritance passes to family members, and who qualifies as a family member. Today we are focusing not on the dictionary definition of a nuclear family, nor on a legal definition of family, but on what family means in the Kingdom of God. When I say, “Together in the Family,” I’m saying, “Together in THE Family.” The most important family ever – God’s family.
How did Christ Jesus define family? Mark 3:32-35 (NRSV) – “A crowd was sitting around him, and they said to him, ‘Your mother and your brothers are outside asking for you.’ And he replied, ‘Who are my mother and my brothers?’ And looking at those who sat around him, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.’” Jesus here defines his family as anyone who does God’s will. Whoever does it. This is a radical statement. That begs the question, “What is God’s will?”
Jesus defined God’s will in Mark 12:28-31 (NRSV) – “One of the scribes came near and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well he asked him, ‘Which commandment is the first of all?’ Jesus answered, ‘The first is, “Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one; you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” The second is this, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” There is no other commandment greater than these.’”
Back in the Old Testament, in speaking of the restoration of God’s people, in Ezekiel 36:26-27 (NRSV), God said “A new heart I will give you, and a new spirit I will put within you, and I will remove from your body the heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. I will put my spirit within you and make you follow my statutes and be careful to observe my ordinances.”
So, here, in the words of God the Son, Christ Jesus, we have a very clear explanation of what God wills for us to do, the most important focus of our lives: as the Message puts it, “love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy . . . and love others as well as you love yourself.” How can we do that? That’s a pretty high standard – it sounds huge, difficult, impossible. But God never tells us to do something without providing all that we need to do it. Firstly, God promised to transform our hearts from being stony and stubborn into hearts that are tender and responsive. Then in Acts 2, shortly after Jesus’ physical time on earth was done, God’s promised Holy Spirit was poured out on all people, making it possible for everyone who calls on the name of the Lord to be saved. This same Holy Spirit makes it possible for each and every person to respond with a great big “yes!” to God’s radical invitation to be in his family.
But there’s still something we need to do. It’s not enough to understand the definition of God’s will. It’s not enough to believe in our hearts. It’s not enough to have received the Holy Spirit. We need to act on our faith by responding with radical choices to God’s radical invitation. We need to choose to love, choose to welcome, choose to invite, choose to include, choose to reconcile with, choose to forgive.
This radical invitation from God goes something like this – I love you. You’re in my family. I want us to be a community of love together. Love me, love each other. I’m giving you everything you need to do this. I love you. Pass it on.
All are welcome to be together in God’s family
Who did Jesus invite to be in his family? Let’s take a look at a couple of passages.
Matthew 11:28 (NRSV) – “Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”
Jesus, in comparing the Kingdom of heaven to a wedding feast said that the one having the feast instructed others in Matthew 22:9 (NRSV) to “go . . . into the main streets and invite everyone you find to the wedding banquet.”
Jesus in John 6:35 (NRSV) said, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”
And again, Mark 3:35 (NRSV) – “Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.”
In our Vineyard tribe of Christian churches, we describe ourselves clearly as a “centered set” movement as contrasted to a “bounded set” one. A bounded set movement is one in which there is some kind of boundary, a theological border, a doctrinal fence, that separates those who are “in” from those who are “out,” resulting in an “us” and “them” mentality. In the Vineyard, we distance ourselves from this kind of mentality. We are not drawing lines in the sand that say, “If you believe this, you’re in; if you believe that, you’re out” or “If you live this way, you’re in; if you live that way, you’re out.” All are welcome to be together in God’s family.
A centered set movement means that we seek to move towards the center, which means moving one choice at a time towards a deeper knowledge of and relationship with God the Father, Christ Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. A beautiful and natural outcome of that is that as God deepens His life in each one of us, we become more able to deepen authentic and life-giving relationships with others. This is how we, in a very practical way, live out loving God and others. It’s not about doing it perfectly or completely, but about moving towards God one choice at a time. As the Ignatian First Principle and Foundation says, “Our only desire and our one choice should be this: I want and I choose what better leads to God’s deepening his life in me.” All are welcome to be together in God’s family.
As we move towards God one choice at a time, we become more desirous of and able to love others. We become more desirous of and able to welcome, invite, include, reconcile with, and forgive, just as Jesus did and as His followers continue to do. It will not always be easy. Dietrich Bonhoeffer says, in his book, “Life Together” that “The Christian . . . must bear the burden of a brother. He must suffer and endure the brother. It is only when he is a burden that another person is really a brother and not merely an object to be manipulated.” To repeat the same descriptors I mentioned earlier, God’s family is beautiful, challenging, rich, overwhelming, arduous, joyful, frustrating, loving, mind-boggling, history changing, intimidating, amazing, seemingly impossible, and expansive. All are welcome to be together in God’s family.
We need one another to be together in God’s family
I’ve been wondering a lot in recent years if some of the often-repeated things Christ-followers say are what God intended for us to hear, repeat, or practice. Saying “P is for Pterodactyl” reminds me of our culture’s “do-it-yourself” tendency. Imagine hearing the word “pterodactyl” and deciding to look it up for yourself. You could spend a really long time looking high and low through the “T” words and getting absolutely nowhere. Let’s not try to figure things out alone or, even worse, send someone else off to figure things out on their own. We are not just better together – it’s not possible on our own to have all the wisdom, discernment, or direction that we need. Trying to figure out things alone never ends well. We need one another to be together in God’s family.
Sometimes we need to realize we’ve been asking the wrong questions. For example, “Have you been filled with the Holy Spirit?” None of us has individually received all of the Holy Spirit. I wish I could say that I’ve only heard this rarely, but it seems to be a fairly widespread misunderstanding. It’s true and right to say: “When I accepted Christ Jesus as my Lord and Savior, I received the Holy Spirit.” So far, so good. But sometimes this leads to the mistaken idea that, “I have received all of the Holy Spirit.” Ephesians 5:18 (NLT) says, “Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit.” In the original language (Greek), that last phrase literally means “be continually being filled with the Holy Spirit.” In other words, we are limited, and we leak. We are finite persons. The Holy Spirit is God, who is infinite, all-powerful, all-knowing, present everywhere. How could any one of us possibly contain ALL of the Holy Spirit? It makes no sense. We need to be constantly refilled with the Holy Spirit, and we will never be completely once-for-all-time filled up. There’s always more. We need one another to be together in God’s family.
God is our Savior, our source, our supply, our sustainer. But the story is so much more than “I’m right with God. The End.” If we think that, then we’re living in the land of “P is for Pterodactyl.” We’d have to ignore the hundreds and thousands of references throughout the Bible where God tells us that He created us for relationship with each other as well as with Him. A flourishing life includes our interdependent need for each other. Any one of us can and probably will get off track if we try to navigate life alone, especially the biggest decisions, the hardest stuff, the most complicated relationships. Being a Christian, a Christ-follower, has always been and will always be a team sport. To quote some of my favorite poets from the 70’s, “We are family!” and “Let’s stick together!” Let’s be interruptible when someone reaches out with a “Hey!” (I’d like to spend time with you) or a “Help!” (Please be present with me in my adversity). We need one another to be together in God’s family.
Let’s be careful together in God’s family
Teaching someone the alphabet by saying “P is for Pterodactyl” also makes me think of when we take one Bible verse, often out of context, and try to make it the main focus of our lives, speech, or thinking. Unfortunately, there are a lot of Bible-ish memes or phrases that actually do a lot of damage to sound understanding of what is good, beautiful, or true. It’s a mistake to approach reading the different genres within the Bible in exactly the same way. We need to understand what we’re reading, whether narrative, law, poetry, prophecy, wisdom, biography, parables, gospel, or letters. Bible roulette is a really bad idea. Let’s be careful with Scripture together in God’s family.
There are bazillions of words that begin with P that have a “P” sound. Why would we focus on a weird exception like “P is for Pterodactyl” if we’re honestly trying to gain a better understanding? Theology, the study of the nature of God along with the study of religious faith, practice, and experience, is essential in helping us to grow in understanding of who God is, what He’s like, and the other big questions of life. There are tools available to know if a particular belief is sound – we can look at biblical theology, historical theology, systematic theology, and practical theology. No single teacher or group has a corner on all of this. Being a good student requires diligence, discernment, consideration, and caution. I encourage all of us to read widely across the centuries and across the body of Christ because every time and place and group has its gifts and its blind spots. We need the accountability and collaboration of others. Let’s be careful with theology together in God’s family.
Finally, let’s remember that by far the most important message that Jesus conveyed by his life, actions, and words was the way of love. Not laws. Not legalism. But love.
John 10:10 (NRSV) – “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
Philippians 2:4-5 (NRSV) – “Let each of you look not to your own interests but to the interests of others. Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus . . .”
Jesus said in John 13:35 (NRSV) – “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Let’s be careful to follow the way of love together in God’s family.
Let’s summarize:
- All are welcome to be together in God’s family.
- We need one another to be together in God’s family.
- Let’s be careful with Scripture, with theology, and to follow the way of love, together in God’s family.
Application:
So how can we apply this today? How can we be more “together in the family?” In closing, here are three short reflection questions here which I invite you to pray on, ponder, and then put into practice whatever the Lord shows you.
- Who could I invite or welcome to be together in God’s family?
- What is a practical step I can take to be more together in God’s family?
- What would most help me to be careful together in God’s family?
