Release

Release – February 26th, 2023

Earlier this week, I had begun preparing this sermon and was sitting with my laptop editing one of our Multimedia Lenten Devotional tracks that I hoped to wrap up before heading out to spend some time with someone I love. I had reached out several weeks earlier to line up a get-together; my loved one had already changed their plans twice, offering less-than-honest excuses. I sought to remain gracious and hopeful that would be able to celebrate a particular special event together. While I was editing the song for the track, my loved one not only cancelled our celebration last-minute but casually mentioned they’d just made plans to meet with someone else at the same time we had planned to meet. Whether this was motivated by callousness, carelessness, or substance abuse, I don’t know, but it left me feeling hurt, sad, confused, betrayed, disappointed. At the very moment that I received the cancellation text, the words on the track’s song that I was editing played: “Turn the other cheek, go the extra mile, shed another layer, love your enemies.” This loved one is not an enemy by any means, but I experienced an overwhelming sense of the Lord’s compassion and presence in those moments. The Lord sees us, understands our pain, and is present with us in it. I leaned into the Lord in my pain and the Lord met me there. I’ll share more on that story later on.

I’ve called today’s sermon “Release” – as we look at the remainder of 1 John 3 we are going to focus on two healing pathways and learn how to better respond to whatever life throws at us as we do life together with God and with one another. We’re continuing our journey through a New Testament letter that we call the First Epistle of John, or simply 1 John. Pastor John encouraged us two weeks ago to remain in Christ so that we can truly contend for truth and engage our culture. Pastor Nancy focused our attention last Sunday on Jesus Christ our Savior who has been revealed to take away our sins and to destroy evil. And as we remain in Christ, who we are will be revealed, as we are transformed more and more into the image and likeness of God.

We’re going to step through today’s reading starting with 1 John 3:10: “The children of God and the children of the devil are revealed in this way: all who do not do what is right are not from God, nor are those who do not love a brother or sister.” The phrase translated “children of the devil” literally means “those who willingly slander.” The phrase translated “children of God” refers to those who live in full dependence upon the Father and who rely upon the Lord in glad submission. It’s all about the attitude of the heart. We each have a choice as to whether we look for guidance and nurture to God or elsewhere. We each have a choice as to whether we follow our own plans or gladly submit to the Lord’s plan. God desires for us to have childlike faith and trust in him because he has created us as his deeply loved children. 1 John 3:10 tells us that it all comes down to this – when our hearts are turned towards God in dependence and submission, the fruit of that will be that we do what is right and we love our brothers and sisters in Christ. Conversely, when we neglect to do what is right or we fail to love brothers and sisters, it shows that our hearts are turned away from God. In antiquity, a child was believed to inherit their father’s nature through the seed, and John uses this image to make his point. God desires that we resemble him in the way that we think, the way that we live, and the way that we treat one another. If we find ourselves neglecting to do what is right or failing to love our brothers and sisters, we need to turn back to God again.

Let’s continue our reading – 1 John 3:11-17 (NRSV):

“For this is the message you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. We must not be like Cain, who was from the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous. Do not be astonished, brothers and sisters, that the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life because we love the brothers and sisters. Whoever does not love abides in death. All who hate a brother or sister are murderers, and you know that murderers do not have eternal life abiding in them. We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us—and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers and sisters. How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world’s goods and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses help?”

The vast majority of English translations include the editor’s title of “Love One Another” for this passage, which is devoted to emphasizing the importance of loving brothers and sisters. In the verses we’ve read so far today, there are eight mentions of brother or sister. When words or phrases are repeated that much, it’s good to dig a little deeper.

In studying any passage of Scripture, it’s important that we read it in context. At the time this was written, in Roman society, fratricide, the murder of a brother was considered one of the most hideous crimes possible. Throughout his letter, whenever John uses the term translated “brother” (from the Greek “adelphos”) he is referring to any member of the body of Christ, male or female, as all Christians are together members of a single family. John goes on to equate hating a brother or sister with murder. I think it’s easy to assume that it’s harder to love enemies than anyone else. John tells us quite plainly that lack of love for a brother or sister in Christ is proof that someone opposes God. We all know from experience that family relationships can be very complicated, can include both the best and the worst of times. Often those we live with are the hardest ones to love (and maybe we are the hardest ones to love for our loved ones, too). I think that John is trying to get us to realize that loving our brothers and sisters in Christ is a difficult thing to do. Once we begin to understand that in the body of Christ, we are meant to have authentic relationships and not just be nice to one another, we can engage more fully in the hard work of loving one another which will bear much fruit for the Kingdom and glory of God.

We also need to keep in mind that at the time of John’s letter, there was the very real possibility of persecution or even death for refusing to worship the Emperor. The early church was very aware that choosing to follow Jesus and not betray their brothers and sisters could cost them their very lives. John asks the church in verse 16 to be ready to give their lives for fellow believers. In verse 17 he equates the love of God in us with a practical commitment to love others in the present. God is calling true followers of Christ to live sacrificially on behalf of others each day.

Let’s read the remainder of 1 John chapter 3, verses 18 through 24:

1 John 3:18-24 (NRSV) – “Little children, let us love not in word or speech but in deed and truth. And by this we will know that we are from the truth and will reassure our hearts before him whenever our hearts condemn us, for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Beloved, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have boldness before God, and we receive from him whatever we ask, because we obey his commandments and do what pleases him. And this is his commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. All who obey his commandments abide in him, and he abides in them. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit that he has given us.”

It’s tempting to play it safe within the cozy title of “Love One Another.” If we want to be the community that God intends us to be, it’s not enough to just believe in the name of Jesus Christ, though that is essential. It is also essential that we love one another.

For the remainder of our time together today, we’re going to look at the two healing pathways I mentioned earlier that will hopefully help us to better respond to whatever life throws at us as we do life together with God and with one another.

We probably all know of people who say they love God and follow Jesus yet opt out of participation in church, often because they’ve been wounded by the church in some way. Lord, have mercy, we pray for our de-churched brothers and sisters, that you would heal their hearts and bring them into life-giving fellowship in your body! But the concept of “solo Christianity” is not what God intended. God has invited us to thrive and work and rest and play in his glorious garden alongside the Father, Christ Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and countless millions of saints through the ages. God shares with us every imaginable seed, bulb, and plant; God provides soil, fertilizer, and equipment; God blesses us with sunshine, shade, and rain; God lavishes wisdom on us through Scripture, sacraments, and saints; God gives life and growth and abundance; God helps us in every possible way. Solo Christianity is like trying to grow stuff without any of these things that are freely given by our Master Gardener. We are created by, in, and for relationship with the Trinity and with one another.

If we think back in our own journeys to how we were taught, whether formally or informally, “how to follow Jesus,” there was likely a focus on praying, reading the Bible, and obeying God’s word. These are all essential! But it seems to me that in our culture there is a huge missing piece. There is a strong inclination to think that Christian community is some kind of optional extra or simply a variety of options somewhat like selecting from a vast array of breakfast cereals in the grocery store. Is it possible that we need a renewed imagination for the preciousness and purpose of the body of Christ? If we understood how beautiful is the body of Christ, would we say careless words about another part? If we believed that we truly belong to one another, would we turn away from those parts in greatest need? If we realized how much each part of the body needs each other part, would that motivate us to more freely give our very best selves away?

I am thankful that in my first seminary course I got to study one of my favorite Henri Nouwen books, Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith. He says that the keys to Christian community are forgiveness and celebration. One of these sounds more fun than the other, doesn’t it? But honestly, both are difficult to do, and both are essential if we want to bear fruit that remains. I want to talk a little bit about forgiveness and celebration today, in the hopes that we can learn a little more about how to love one another.

Forgiveness

It’s important to realize that forgiveness is not just about forgiving one another for wrongs done, although that is necessary sometimes. Nouwen says that forgiveness is much more frequently about being continually willing to forgive the other person for not fulfilling all my needs and desires. Let me say that another way. Forgiveness is much more frequently about the need for me to release someone else from the expectation that they will be something for me or do something for me. We also need to ask forgiveness for not being able to meet other people’s total needs (we may have to resign from being Savior of the world – hint, it’s not us!). Only God can love unconditionally. No one else can love like that.

Thirty-two years ago my mom passed away, early in my pregnancy with our oldest son Peter. Many times that year I cried out to God to send me someone who could be a mother to me, as I felt unprepared and alone in my own journey of motherhood. God whispered to me and assured me that he would help me and he would teach me, which he did. He also conveyed to me that he would answer my prayer but not as I expected or requested. I think God knew that if he sent me a single individual that I would likely idolize them or form an unhealthy codependency or put them in the place of God in my life. God is so faithful and wise; he knows exactly what we need. God answered my prayers by providing me with many wise and loving mentors over the years, often in quite unexpected ways.

It is God to whom we are to look to give us all that we need. God almost always works through other people to supply and satisfy us with what is best for us. God knows who these individuals are in any given situation or in our lives in general. The moment we think we know just who we need or that we are just who someone else needs, we are erroneously putting ourselves or others in the place of God. I can recall many such occasions in my life where I have had these kinds of wrong expectations of another person or of myself. When things didn’t pan out the way I had thought they would, I was disappointed because my expectations were not met. The problem here was my expectations, not what someone else did or didn’t do. When we realize this is happening, we need to ask God to forgive us and we need to forgive the other person for not fulfilling our needs and desires. Notice that I did not say we need to go to the other person and weirdly tell them that we had expected these things in our relationship with them. They may have no idea consciously. They may have done nothing at all wrong in this situation. But because what we think inside of us does affect not only us but those around us, because attitudes tend to leak out and get all over other people, it’s up to us to do internal forgiveness work, and in doing so, our community becomes healthier.

Part of trusting God is trusting that God knows all of our needs and all of everyone else’s needs. It is God’s choice, not ours, how and through whom he will meet each need. God is inviting us to release ourselves and release others as we ask for and release forgiveness today. Unforgiveness keeps us bound in a prison of our own making. It is for freedom that Christ has set us free!

Celebration

Now onto the fun part of community – celebration – fun, yes, but also difficult to do because it costs us something.

What comes to mind when you think of the word “celebration”? It’s frequently associated with big events like birthdays, weddings, or other kinds of parties. These things are wonderful and worthy of our larger investments of time, talent, and treasure. But let’s consider celebration in the little things too. I have a couple of recent celebration stories to share with you.

We’ve had the pleasure of hosting some Aussie cousins for most of the month of February. What a joy to have a tiny person in our home! Young Archie, who turns two in a couple of days, delighted us all as he played with a simple balloon, kicking or batting it in the air and turning to us each in turn with a “yayyy!” and clapping, evoking the same response in each of us. Celebrating even small things together builds community!

This week Paul and I, along with our son and daughter-in-love Jonathan and Aditi, went to visit our aunt and uncle who live far enough away that we don’t see each other as often as we did when we lived in the same neighborhood. At Sculley Academy when I taught our children handwriting, I had them each week prepare a carefully written Scripture accompanied by a beautiful design that they colored in order to produce a gift for someone else. My aunt recalled one of these pages that Jonathan had given to her when he was probably eight years old. She told him that it had arrived at just the right time and meant so much to her as she had been going through a difficult time in her life. He had no remembrance of this particular gift, but the gift kept on giving as it prompted my aunt to celebrate other people over the years by sending cards not just on special occasions but “just because” whenever she realized that someone in particular was on her mind, a practice she continues to this day. We can consider how to incorporate “just because” celebrations through cards, texts, calls, or visits. “Just because” celebrations strengthen community.

This week my father turned 87, and we had a surprisingly long and deep conversation. I mentioned earlier that my mom passed away almost 32 years ago. During our conversation, Dad shared with me for the first time that he has been concerned about where Mom is because although she was a dedicated and loving follower of Christ, she took her own life. There has been some appalling false teaching and false beliefs in the body of Christ concerning suicide, accompanied by a widespread lack of understanding regarding mental health issues. Dad went on to say that his mental anguish has recently prompted him to pray for Mom each day, especially as he is thinking more about his journey with God and transition from this life to the next. Like I said, Dad shared these things with me for the first time in over three decades. His new openness was an invitation to me to share some gifts that God had given me. I want to mention that the trauma was so severe in my Mom’s passing and the family devastation that followed that it took me over 25 years before I was able to begin sharing very openly about these things with anyone other than Paul and a few counselors. On the night that my Mom died, I was in utter anguish pouring out my heart to God by my bed. Two things plagued me that night more than anything else. Someone who may have meant well but was very misguided had said to me that “suicides go to hell” earlier that day. The sorrow was overwhelming as I cried out to the Lord. In God’s great mercy, he allowed me to hear for just a few seconds what I can best describe as my Mom singing in the choir of heaven. I was also heartbroken that my Mom would not experience the joy of being a grandmother to any grandchildren, especially the one I was carrying in my womb. Moments later, the Lord gave me a vision of my Mom holding the baby we had miscarried six months earlier. These two supernatural assurances from God on the day my Mom died brought me immediate and lasting peace which has stayed with me for all these years. I was able to share these intimate encounters with the Lord with my Dad this week and he received them with gratitude and joy. I also assured him that although we humans are bound in time and space, God is not. Our transcendent God is far above and outside of and in control of time – he hears and answers prayers in ways that are far beyond anything we could imagine. Also, in 1991 when Mom passed, there was almost no understanding in our culture regarding depression or other mental health struggles, other than among a very small number of professionals. We talked about watching both church and culture growing in understanding and empathy regarding mental health. As merciful and compassionate as people are, God is infinitely more merciful and compassionate. A beautiful thing happened – the Lord breathed such peace to Dad, and he was able, for the first time, to celebrate with confidence that Mom, his first wife, is in the presence of the Lord. There are all kinds of celebrations, not all of which include banners and balloons.

Back to my first story today. As I sat with my laptop, my heart filled with with disappointment, hurt, and sadness, those lyrics playing through my headphones – “Turn the other cheek, go the extra mile, shed another layer, love your enemies” – I decided to listen and respond to the Lord’s prompting. I got up and poured all of that pain out to God as I assembled ingredients from the pantry and began to prepare a delicious and healthful meal. Partway through the meal prep, I found out that one of our visiting cousins was having a birthday the following day. It’s so easy to allow frustration with others’ choices to control us. It’s so easy to let our pain trap us in negative responses. What could have been an evening of me feeling depressed or down in the dumps was transformed by God reminding me at just the right time into an impromptu party with chocolate cake and candles! Celebration is a salve to the wounds we carry and gives us a new perspective even if the pain persists.

Let’s learn to celebrate in small and big ways. When someone does something that moves our hearts in any way at all, we can tell them, thank them, encourage them. We can’t read each other’s thoughts. When we see any kind of good fruit in another person, we can encourage them, bless them, cheer them on. When things are going well in any area of life, we can consider who are the people whose hard work and faithfulness had something to do with that and send them a note to let them know we notice and appreciate them.

It touched my heart this week to see tributes pouring in to and for President Jimmy Carter as he began hospice care at home. Let’s not wait until someone’s funeral to tell them what they mean to us. We can imagine creative and appropriate ways to honor someone while avoiding the extremes of putting them on a pedestal or putting it off until it’s too late to tell them personally.

Release heavy expectations through forgiveness! Release heavy emotions through celebration! As we live in forgiveness and celebration, community becomes the place where we can call forth the gifts of other people and say, “You are God’s beloved daughter or son and my beloved sister or brother. I am very well pleased with you.”

Let’s pray:

Lord God, please give us a renewed imagination to release forgiveness and to release celebration as we seek to do what is right and to love our brothers and sisters in Christ in this room, around the world, down through the ages. We ask for your grace, wisdom, and courage in these things. Help us, Lord, to notice what you’re doing, to let you interrupt us, in the middle of life to pay attention to your promptings, to lean into you in the middle of pain, and to know that you are very near to us in whatever we’re experiencing – some things we can share with another, many things we can’t. We know that you will always meet us in the deepest recesses of our being and you ask only that we pour ourselves out to you and open ourselves up to you. We know that you desire wholeness and healing for each one of us. So we welcome you to work in and through us, however you choose. Bend our hearts to your will. Transform us from the inside out by changing the way we think, the way we speak, the way we act. We thank you so much for your stillness. In the stillness you are here. In your presence there is fullness of joy.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

Go in peace.